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| ignore alien orders | One For The Album | 1/5 | on 80811 | at punding.com |

Title: One For The Album

Series: Ignore alien orders

Writer: P E Leody

SYNOPIS: IN AN ATTEMPT TO EXPAND HIS EMPIRE A MEGALOMANIAC INVITES ALIENS TO EARTH TO TRADE. HIS DREAMS COME TRUE AND THEIR PRICE ISN'T SOMETHING HE REFUSES

Cast: Jethro

Cast: Miss Universe

Cast: Keith

Cast: Alien

PAGE 1


1  
Jethro playing golf

Caption: ENGLAND'S GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND INHABITED BY A SPLEEN AN UNPLEASANT MAN


2  
A golf club hits the ball

Caption: POLLUTED BY THE SCABS OF GREENS AND THE SORES OF BUNKERS


3  
A golf ball rises high off the Earth

Caption: HERE JETHRO HAS BECOME ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS MEN IN HISTORY


4  
The golf ball bounces close to the pin on the green

Caption: KEY SKILLS- SELF BELIEF, AN ABILITY TO SEE THE LARGER PICTURE AND AL FRESCO NEGOTIATING


5  
Jethro stares at the golf ball he pulls out of the hole

JETHRO: OF COURSE THE ANSWER IS SO OBVIOUS

PAGE 2


1  
Jethro's business head quarters

Caption: WITH HEADQUARTERS IN EVERY MAJOR CAPITAL, IN THE STYLE OF POST MODERN, OR FOR THOSE WITHOUT AN ART DEGREE, TOMBSTONES


2  
The inside of the headquarters with a huge atrium

JETHRO: THE BUILDINGS ARE BASICALLY HOLLOW. JUST A DOOR KEEPER AND A BEVY OF CLEANERS


3  
The door to the penthouse, Jethro's office

Caption: AT THE TOP A LUXURIOUS OFFICE SUITE OUTFITTED WITH THE BEST THE WORLD HAD TO OFFER


4  
Jethro hosts a meeting at a large table, the other attendees are just images on video screens over chairs

Caption: I CALL THIS EXTRAORDINARY GENERAL MEETING TO OUTLINE MY EXPANSION PLANS


5  
The building with the planets in the back ground

JETHRO: PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE SAID EXTRA TERRESTRIAL MEETING, AS OUR NEXT MARKET IT OUT THERE

PAGE 3


1  
Jethro talking to camera, during the shooting of a commercial

JETHRO: HELLO AND WELCOME TO EARTH. I LIVE HERE AND I KINDA LIKE IT. JUST THINK OF ME AS YOUR BUSINESS POINT OF CONTACT


2  
A video shot of Jethro's headquarters

JETHRO: THIS IS WHERE MY OFFICES ARE LOCATED, WE HAVE REINFORCED OUR ROOFS FOR YOUR LANDING NEEDS


3  
TV masts, computers, television

JETHRO: I OWN MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF COMMUNICATION MEDIUMS SO I WILL BE ABLE TO RESPOND TO YOUR CALL IMMEDIATELY


4  
A video shot of money

JETHRO: WE MEASURE SUCCESS BY MONEY AND POWER. I AM ONE OF THE WEALTHIEST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET.


5  
A huge private yacht

JETHRO: AND I ONLY USE MY IMMENSE POWER WITH GREAT RESPONSIBILITY


6  
A beautiful girl

MISS UNIVERSE: HI I'M MISS UNIVERSE, AND YOUR ARE WELCOME TO ENTER THIS YEARS CONTEST WHEN YOU GET HERE. PLEASE COME, MR JETHRO IS SUCH A FOX


7  
Jethro stands with his arms behind his back, staring out into space

JETHRO: THIS WILL BE A STEAL, A WHOLE NEW MARKET, AN UNREGULATED MARKET, A MARKET ONLY I CAN ACCESS


8  
A satellite leaves earth, view of Earth and it's planets

Caption: JUST I JUST HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO GOOD AT GOLF, I DON'T MIND THROWING GAMES BUT I WILL NOT LOSE

PAGE 4


1  
A panel of experts in video screens in a meeting with Jethro

JETHRO: YOU'RE THE BEST EXPERTS ON THIS PLANET. WHY HAVEN'T I GOT A REPLY FROM OUR TENTACLED BRETHREN


2  

KEITH: WELL SIR

JETHRO: PARDON?

KEITH: KEITH SIR, I THINK THE MESSAGE WAS NOT ALTRUISTIC ENOUGH, IT WAS KIND OF SCARY


3  
Keith's video screen shatters

Sfx: KERCRACK

JETHRO: I LIKE A MAN WHO SPEAKS HIS MIND, RE SHOOT THE VIDEO AND KEITH

KEITH: SIR

JETHRO: PICK UP YOUR P45 IT'S AT YOUR FRONT DESK NOW


4  
The Mona Lisa

Caption: THE GREATEST PAINTING ON EARTH, DESPITE BEING OLD


5  
The Venus Milo statue

Caption: THE GREATEST WORK OF ART, DESPITE BEING INCOMPLETE


6  
A piano player

Caption: THE GREATEST PIECE OF MUSIC, DESPITE BEING UNFINISHED


7  
Actors doing Hamlet

Caption: THE GREATEST PLAY WRITTEN DESPITE BEING UNUNDERSTANDABLE, LONG, SHORT ON THE SEX AND HEAVY ON THE DEATH


8  
The Earth from space

Caption: HERE ON EARTH WE BELIEVE YOU CAN BE GREAT BY JUST BEING YOU


9  
A space ship approaches, then lands on the roof of Jethro's headquarters

JETHRO: THEY ARE COMING, UPGRADE KEITH'S SEVERANCE PAY

PAGE 5


1  
Jethro shakes hands with an alien, it is twice his size

JETHRO: HAVE A GOOD JOURNEY? DO YOU GOLD? ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT YOU


2  
Jethro looks up at the alien

JETHRO: WAS IT MY CHARM, MY PHILANTHROPIC WISHES THAT TICKLED YOUR FANCY


3  
Close up of Jethro

ALIEN: IT WAS HER, WE WANT HER

JETHRO: EASILY DONE, THE MAKE A NEW MISS UNIVERSE EVERY YEAR, AND THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO WEALTH AND MONEY LIKE A SLICED GOLF BALL TO A HAZARD. DID I ASK IF YOU GOLF?


4  
The space craft leaves Earth

ALIEN: HOME PLANET I AM RETURNING, NEGOTIATIONS WERE EASILY SETTLED. THE FOOLS DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA AS TO THE WORTH THEY HAVE ON THE PLANET


5  
The alien opens a sticker book, the Mona Lisa is stuck in

ALIEN: I FOUND THE RAREST CHASER CARD IN THE ALIENS ARTIFACTS SERIES 2 COLLECTION

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