Title: Autopsy
Series: No such place
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: THE BAND HEADLINE A MAJOR FESTIVAL
PAGE 1
Sfx: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS TO THE SOUTH DOWNS FESTIVAL. THE WEEK LONG EVENT SOLD OUT WITHIN 2 HOURS OF BEING ANNOUNCED
Sfx: ITS MUCH MORE THAN A MUSIC FESTIVAL, IT'S MORE LIKE A WEEK ON A DIFFERENT PLANET.
Sfx: THE HEADLINING ACTS ARE SHROUDED IN SECRECY BUT WE DO KNOW THE PRESTIGIOUS PRE-WEEKEND HEADLINE SLOT HAS BEEN FILLED BY THE REFORMED "TERRACED ECLIPSES", WITH THEIR ORIGINAL LINE UP.
Sfx: THE BAND WHO WERE THE DE FACTO BLUEPRINT FOR THE INDIE SCENE BLEW APART IN UNEXPLAINED CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT A GRASS ROOTS FAN BASE HAS BROUGHT THEM BACK FROM THE BRINK
STUART: I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S RIGHT BUT IT'S WHAT WE'VE GOT TO DO
JENNY: ITS MEANT TO BE ABOUT THE MUSIC
STUART: I FORGET WHY, I JUST TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME
JENNY: YOU'RE JUST FOLLOWING HIM
STUART: WHY NOT, HE LED ME TO YOU
PAGE 2
Sfx: THE BAND HAVE BEEN GIGGING RECENTLY WITHOUT THEIR FOUNDING MEMBER ANDY
Sfx: SOURCES CLOSE TO THE BAND HAVE NOT DENIED OR CONFIRMED WHETHER THEY ARE RE-INSTATING THEIR TRADEMARK JUST MINOR GUITAR CHORDS IN PLACE OF THE NEWER JAZZIER LILT
Sfx: DRUMMER THEIR DRUMMER HAS BEEN GATHERING RAVE REVIEWS FOR HIS OFF SHAFTESBURY AVENUE REVIEW OF THE LIFE AND TIME OF ELVIS. THAT'S COSTELLO FOLKS.
Sfx: THE BASSIST AND FOUNDER MEMBER IS NOW A FAMILY MAN AND PART OF A CELEBRITY COUPLE WITH JENNY D J, ANDY' SISTER
Sfx: THE BIG MYSTERY OF THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANDY AND ERSTWHILE CHANTEUSE THURSDAY STILL ENTHRALLS FAN, EAGER TO DISSECT THEIR LYRICS HOPING FOR SOME PROOF OR DENIAL
Sfx: IF THIS GIG IS SUCCESSFUL, A MAJOR WORLD TOUR AND RECORDING OF NEW MATERIAL AWAITS. IF THEY STICK TO THEIR INDEPENDENT PRINCIPLES THEY COULD BECOME MAJOR PLAYERS IN THE DEVELOPING FORMATLESS MUSIC SCENE
Sfx: RUMOUR HAS IT THE BAND'S RIDER STILL INCLUDES A CLAUSE FOR NO KEYBOARDS TO BE WITHIN 100 YARDS OF THE STAGE
PAGE 3
Sfx: RUMOURS HAS IT THAT THURSDAY HAS NOT BEEN ATTENDING REHEARSALS, AND THAT ANDY HAS BEEN SEEN WITH BUNCHES OF FLOWERS IN WEIRD PLACES
Sfx: SO HOW GOOD WHERE THEY? HOW GOOD WILL THEY BE?
Sfx: HOW MANY WILL THERE BE? WILL THERE BE ANYONE THERE?
Sfx: SO IT ALL KICKS OFF THIS WEEK, STAY TUNED FOR BREAKING NEWS, MEANWHILE HERE'S "TERRACED ECLIPSES" AS THEY USED TO BE, AND HOPEFULLY AS THEY WILL BE WITH THURSDAY ON THURSDAY
PAGE 4
ANDY: HOW'S SHE DOING NURSE
NURSE: YOUR WIFE..
ANDY: NO SHE'S
NURSE: GIRLFRIEND?
ANDY: NO..
NURSE: NOT NOW OR NOT EVER?
ANDY: ARE YOU A NURSE OR A REPORTER
NURSE: A NURSE AND I'M OFF IN AN HOUR
ANDY: SORRY I'VE GOT TO WORK THIS WEEKEND
NURSE: BUMMER I'M GOING TO THE FESTIVAL, THEY'RE BROADCASTING IT ON THE RADIO, SHALL I LEAVE IT ON?
ANDY: CAN SHE HEAR IT?
NURSE: ITS MUSIC MAN, SEEPS INTO THE SOUL AND LIBERATES THE MIND
ANDY: THANKS
NURSE: SEE YOU AROUND. MAYBE LATER
ANDY: ALMOST CERTAINLY
PAGE 5
ANDY: CAN'T DO IT MATE
MOLEY: I KNOW I WAS HERE THE LAST TIME YOU BOTTLED IT
ANDY: NO, I MEAN I CAN'T DO THE GUITAR, ANY NOTE I PLAY'LL BE LIKE AN EXPRESSIONLESS IMBECILE COMPARED TO HOW SHE PLAYED THE SONGS RECENTLY.
MOLEY: BEING ABLE TO, IS A LONG WAY FROM DOING. THOSE KIDS OUT THERE WANT THE ROUGH, UNREHEARSED, RAW, FRAGILE, BRITTLE COOL COCKY SODS YOU USED TO BE.
ANDY: THURSDAY AUDITIONED FOR THIS BAND ON THIS VERY KEYBOARD, HAVING HEARD HER PLAY THE SONG WE BANISHED KEYBOARDS FROM THIS BAND. SHE WAS THAT GOOD. THAT IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM, SO HERE'S THE SONG SHE PLAYED, IT COMPLETED THE BAND
ANDY: #YOU DON'T ANSWER YOUR PHONE CALLS ANYMORE#
ANDY: #YOUR MAIL IS ADDRESSED ATTENTION OF THE MORGUE#
ANDY: #YOU'VE A HELL OF A WAY OF BEING EX-DIRECTORY#
ANDY: #I'M BEING TO FEEL YOU AIM TO REJECT ME#
ANDY: #VALENTINES DAY I RECEIVED JUST THE ONE CARD#
ANDY: #STILL FROM MY MOTHER SO THERE'S NO NEED TO BE ALARMED#
ANDY: #INTERFLORA CAN'T DELIVER YOUR DOOR IS NAILED FAST#
ANDY: #YOU'VE A WILTING COLLECTION IN YOUR STONE VASE#
ANDY: #I NEVER KNEW HOW YOU SURVIVED WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE#
ANDY: #AUTOPSY'LL GIVE ME MORE OF AN INSIGHT#
ANDY: #EVERYTHING'S A MISS NOT EVEN A GHOST#
ANDY: #BEEN AND SCARED AWAY THE LAST GLIMPSE OF HOPE#
ANDY: #ONCE YOU WERE A SPECTRUM NEEDED TO COMPLETE ME#
ANDY: #NOW YOUR THE SPECTRE CRUSHING TO DEFEAT ME#
ANDY: #YOU NEVER LET MY MIND UP CLOSE AND INSIDE#
ANDY: #AUTOPSY'LL GIVE ME THE GLIMPSE OF THE PRIZE#
ANDY: #IN HECTIC LIVES WERE NEVER HAD TIME TO DANCE#
ANDY: #AUTOPSY'LL TELL ME IF EVER THERE WAS A CHANCE#
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