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| no such place | 1-4-1 | 5/5 | on 80530 | at punding.com |

Title: 1-4-1

Series: No such place

Writer: P E Leody

SYNOPIS: ANDY AND THURSDAY ARE INDEPENDENTLY WINED AND DINED

PAGE 1


Andy dressed very poshly in a dinner suit with tails, his hands are in his pocket

WAITER: EXCUSE ME PLEASE, SIR


A candelabra alone on a table

ANDY: NO SORRY I DON'T WORK HERE, I'M WAITING FOR MY GUEST, ACTUALLY I'M THE GUEST, NO REALLY, JUST GIVE THEM FEW MORE MINUTES


The waiter holds the menu and directs Andy to another table

WAITER: SIR THE TABLES WERE RENUMBERED A FEW YEARS AGO, YOUR TABLE IS OVER HERE, YOUR GUEST INSTRUCTED ME TO ALERT YOU

ANDY: MORE CHANGES


At the table is Camille, cone up like Thursday

CAMILLE: HIA GORGEOUS

ANDY: THURS.. CAMILLE?

CAMILLE: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW LOOK


Andy is astonished

ANDY: PERFECT

CAMILLE: YOU LOOK SURPRISINGLY WELL ADJUSTED IN THAT MONKEY SUIT

ANDY: I'VE HAD A LOT OF PRACTICE.

PAGE 2


A bowl of soup

ANDY: I WAS QUITE SURPRISED TO HEAR FROM YOU


An aperitif

CAMILLE: YOU UNDERESTIMATE YOUR HIDDEN CHARM OFFENSIVE


A main course

ANDY: NO, YOU WANT SOMETHING


A sorbet

CAMILLE: THAT'S THE MEANS TO AN END, I MEAN YOUR THE ENDS TO THE MEANS


A cream brulee

ANDY: SO WHOSE PAYING FOR THE MEAL

CAMILLE: THAT'S A BUSINESS EXPENSE


A cocktail

CAMILLE: THEY'VE BEEN ASKED FOR RECORDING RIGHTS FOR "YOURSELF IN TIME", AFTER THE FINANCIALLY SUICIDE EMBARGO YOU PUT ON THAT CANADIAN CHICKS RELEASE, THEY THOUGHT THE PERSONAL TOUCH


A coffee

ANDY: SO YOU DRESS LIKE HER,

CAMILLE: IF I GET A TENTH OF WHAT SHE GOT OUT OF YOU IT'LL BE WORTH IT


Chocolates

ANDY: SHOULD HAVE DONE YOUR RESEARCH THAT'S THURSDAY'S SONG

CAMILLE: I KNOW THAT, WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE A EVENING OF PAID FOR HEDONISM AHEAD OF US

PAGE 3


Andy stumbles through Stuart's door

ANDY: URGGHH


Jenny and Stuart are there sipping coffee

JENNY: HI BRO, WHAT YOU DOING

ANDY: GOT NOT IDEA, WHATCHA DOING HERE?

JENNY: I'M STANDING IN ON THE BREAKFAST SHOW

ANDY: STU

STUART: SSHH KEEP THE NOISE DOWN..

JENNY: ERHH... NEIGHBOURS


Andy looks puzzled

ANDY: YOU DECORATED SINCE THIS MORNING


Stuart shakes his hand

STUART: YOU LOOK PRETTY BAD BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE

ANDY: I LIVE HERE

STUART: NO YOU MOVED OUT MANY YEARS AGO

ANDY: I'VE DONE IT AGAIN HAVEN'T I

STUART: SOMEONE'S BEEN TAPPING YOUR NOSTALGIA PARANOIA AGAIN

PAGE 4


Thursday is staring at an art exhibit, Max the host of the exhibition is watching

MAX: SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THURSDAY: THAT A MAJOR ROCK STAR HAS YEARNS FOR ARTISH BENT AND ALLOWS HIS HOUSE TO BE A PRISON FOR THE FINEST ARTIST OF THE 18TH CENTURY?

MAX: NO I MEANT WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE LANDSCAPE


Thursday turns to Max

THURSDAY: I THINK... OH ITS

MAX: YES I'M THE WARDEN OF THE IMPECCABLE ART POLICE

THURSDAY: I DIDN'T MEAN

MAX: YES YOU DID

THURSDAY: YES I DID


Max takes Thursday's hand

MAX: I FEEL WOUNDED IN ONLY A WAY A DECENT MEAL CAN HEAL

THURSDAY: CHEF'S DAY OFF?

MAX: OH THE PAIN

THURSDAY: OK THEN MY CHOICE

PAGE 5


A bowl of soup

MAX: THIS APPARENTLY IS THE CORRECT TABLE

THURSDAY: NO LAST TIME I WAS HERE THIS NUMBER TABLE WAS OVER THERE


An aperitif

MAX: I ASKED, IT WAS MANY MANY YEARS AGO

THURSDAY: HOPE THE CREME BRULEE RECIPE HASN'T BEEN CHANGED


A main course

MAX: I MUST CONFESS ABOUT THE ART

THURSDAY: THAT YOUR INDEPENDENT FINANCIAL ADVISOR, ADVISED YOU INDEPENDENTLY TO INVEST IN ART


A sorbet

MAX: NO I BORROWED IT, JUST TO OPEN THE EXHIBITION

THURSDAY: WHY


A cream brulee

MAX: BECAUSE A I KNEW YOU WERE A UNIQUE FAN OF THE ARTIST, HE'S FAR TOO OLDE WORLDLY FOR ME


A cocktail

THURSDAY: ME, WHY ME


A coffee

MAX: HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A MIRROR?

THURSDAY: YES BUT


Chocolates

MAX: I WANTED TO MEET YOU

THURSDAY: WELL HERE I AM, WHAT I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE THAT YOU WOULD WANT?

MAX: YOU NEED A NEW MIRROR

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