Title: Return Ticket
Series: Chronicle
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: A SPACE EXPEDITION FROM EARTH LOOKS FOR ALIEN PLANETS TO OCCUPY. EACH ONE THEY VISIT LIVES IN FEAR OF ANOTHER ONE. AS THEY TRAVEL UP THE FOOD CHAIN THEY MEAN ITS HEAD, IN A MIRROR. REPORTED IN RHYMING COUPLETS,
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Caption: THE PEOPLE OF EARTH WERE RUNNING OUT OF ROOM ON THEIR PLANET. SO THEY JOINED TOGETHER TO LAUNCH A SPACE MISSION TO EXPAND IT.
Caption: SCIENTISTS HAD TARGETED A SPECIAL AREA OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM. THEY SAID TO CONQUER THEM THEY JUST HAD TO PUT A FLAG IN THEM.
Caption: AS A PRECAUTION THEY TOOK LASER CARBIDES WITH TRANSPARENT ALLY SPOUTS. IN CASE THERE WERE NATIVES THAT NEEDED TO BE SILENTLY MOVED OUT.
ALIEN: STRANGER FROM ANOTHER PLANET WELCOME TO MY WORLD. HAVE YOU BROUGHT A GUITAR I'M IN NEED OF ROCK AND ROLL
ALIEN: YOUR WEAPONS DO SCARE ME FOR I'M ONLY A SIMPLE ONE EYED SLUG. BUT ON THAT PLANET THERE'S AN ENEMY WHO'LL SUCK ANYTHING FROM THIS PLANET OF MUD
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Caption: THE ASTRONAUTS REASONED THEY COULD SAVE PRECIOUS TIME. IF THEY STORMED THE OTHER PLANET THIS ONE 'D FALL IN LINE
Caption: THEY EXCHANGED SOME WORTHLESS BEADS FOR GALLONS OF ROCKET FUEL.
Caption: THEY LAUNCH TOWARDS THE NEXT PLANET ON THEIR 18-30 YEAR TOUR
Caption: THEY DOCKED BACK TO THE MOTHER SHIP LIKE A PILOT WHO IS ELITE. THAT'S NOT THE ONE FOR THE AMIGA BUT THE ORIGINAL ONE ON THE BBC
Caption: THEY BEGAN THEIR NEW JOURNEY TO THE PLANET IN THE NEXT CONSTELLATION. CONFIDENT OF VICTORY THEY DREAMED OF THEIR MEDALS PRESENTATION.
Caption: THE PLANET WAS A LOT DRIER THEY BEGAN TO SWEAT IN THEIR SUITS.
ASTRONAUT: THE FIRST THING WE'LL NEED HERE IS FAB LOLLIES AND CHILLED FRUIT JUICE
ALIEN: SURE YOU CAN HAVE THIS DESERT PLANET AND IT'S ENDLESS SUPPLY OF SAND. BUT THE RACE ON THAT PLANET THERE HAVE LEFT BEACH TOWELS BEFORE HAND
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ASTRONAUT: THIS IS TOO EASY, WE GET TWO PLANETS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. WE CAN GIVE ONE TO EARTH AND THE OTHER FOR US IF WE KEEP STUM
ASTRONAUT: SO WE'RE BETTER OFF NOT SENDING OUR REPORT JUST YET. THIS NEXT ONE MIGHT THE SWEETEST GENOCIDE BET
Caption: THE WHOLE PLANET WAS A CONTINUAL TROPICAL RAIN FOREST
ASTRONAUT: WE KNOW HOW TO REMOVES THIS STUFF TO TERRA FORM THE PLANET
ASTRONAUT: THE DOOR'S QUITE SHORT THAT MEANS THIS COULD BE A FAIRER FIGHT. BATTLING TALL GUYS IS EASY, THEIR GENITALS ARE AT YOUR HEAD HEIGHT
ASTRONAUT: I COME FROM EARTH AND I CLAIM THIS PLANET IN OUR NAMES. IF YOU'VE A PROBLEM WE'LL CREATE A RESERVATION AND APOLOGISE IN A FEW DECADES
ALIEN: AT LAST SOME ONE HAS COME TO DEFEND MY PLANET AND IT'S TREES. THE ALIENS ON THAT PLANET KEEP USING THEM FOR DEPOSITING FAECES
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ASTRONAUT: EARTH CAN HAVE THAT PLANET IF IT'S ALL COVERED IN ALIEN POOH, A RACE THAT TRAVELS THAT FAR TO GO, MUST LIVE IN LUXURY TRUE
ASTRONAUT: DO YOU THINK WE'VE ENOUGH FUEL TO RETURN BEFORE WE CRASH AND BURN
ASTRONAUT: IF THE WORST COMES TO THE WORST WE'VE 2 PLANETS EACH TO RULE FIRM
ASTRONAUT: THIS PLANET IS NOTHING MORE THAN ONE BIG RAGGED ROCK. LETS FIND THE RAGGED RASCALS AND ASK THEM IF THEY WANNA ROCK
ASTRONAUT: SOMETHING JUST BRUSHED PASSED ME, I FELT THE STATIC ELECTRICITY
ASTRONAUT: I HEAR A LOW BUZZING SOUND I'M TURNING UP MY BLASTER TO LEVEL 3
ALIEN: HAVE YOU COME TO PET ME, COMB ME OR JUST PAT MY HEAD? I REALLY NEED WORMING, A FLEA COLLAR AND A SOFT FLUFFY BED
ALIEN: I CAN BE FEROCIOUS AS YOU'LL SEE BY MY EXTREMELY SHARP TEETH. BUT THE ALIEN OF THAT PLANET MAKES ME TAKE THEM OUT WHENEVER I GO TO SLEEP
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ASTRONAUT: THIS IS BIZARRE, LIKE A STORY I READ SOME TIME AGO.
ASTRONAUT: A FILM, BOOK AND PLAY SOUNDS LIKE GR...
ASTRONAUT: GRIFF RHYS JONES
ASTRONAUT: ALL THE HABITABLE PLANETS HAVE THEIR PREY AND THEIR PREDATORS
ASTRONAUT: I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM ALL, THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN IS OUT OF FUEL
ASTRONAUT: I'M NOT TAKING THE GUNS WE'VE HAD NO USE OF THEM UP TO NOW. THIS LOOKS LIKE THE PERFECT PLANET AND WEAPONS SHOULD STAY WITH THE OLD CROWDS
ASTRONAUT: THE ALIEN RACE TO CONQUER IS JUST BEHIND THIS DOOR SEARCH. ITS JUST LIKE THE ONE WE HAVE ALL THE WAY BACK ON EARTH
ASTRONAUT: OH NO HUMANOIDS ALREADY OWN THIS PLANET AND HENCE IT'S ECOSYSTEMS. WE BETTER GO BACK HOME AND PREPARE FOR THEIR IMMINENT INVASION
ALIEN: MAN EASILY SCARED BY PSYCHOLOGICAL TRICKS AND SHIVERS. DIDN'T THEY EVER TELL YOU IT'S ALL DONE WITH MIRRORS
ALIEN: ITS BEST THEY GO HOME WHILST THEY STILL HAVE FUEL. THE SCARY ONE EYED SLUG ON THAT PLANET'LL MAKE THEM INTO STICKY GOO
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