Title: L8r
Series: Chronicle
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: EARTH EXPERIENCES A UNKNOWN SONIC ATTACK FROM SPACE. IN INVESTIGATING IT THEY RECEIVE A WINDFALL THAT THEY USE TO IMPROVE THE PLANET. SUDDENLY EARTH BECOMES A VIABLE TARGET
PAGE 1
Caption: THE GREAT EXHIBITION, LONDON, 1851, STAMPED ENGLAND AS THE LEADER OF THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION. IN 1936 IT BURNT DOWN.
Caption: EXACTLY 70 YEARS LATER THE GREATER EXHIBITION 2 OPENS. A VAST CATHEDRAL OF LIGHT, A GLASS PALACE WORTHY THE GREATEST MAJESTY, A ENORMOUS DIAMOND VISIBLE FROM SPACE.
Caption: THE CEREMONIAL SCISSORS FORGED FROM FINEST SHEFFIELD STEEL, FORGED BY HAND INTO A BLADE AS SHARP AS OBSIDIAN. THE CEREMONIAL RIBBON HAND CRAFTED BY COVENTRY'S WORLD EXPERTISE, AS SOFT AS DOWN AND AS RADIANT AS A BLUSHING BRIDE. QUEEN CAMILLA LEADS THE CEREMONY THAT WILL TAKE ENGLAND INTO A NEW AGE OF MANUFACTURING
Sfx: KERSNIP
Caption: THE CUT IS CLEAN, FAST AND TRUE. THE RIBBON PARTS BACK BY INVISIBLE ELASTIC TENSION. IT IS SO DELICATE IT RIDES THE SOFT BREEZE LIKE AS A WEIGHTLESS DANDELION SEED
QUEEN CAMILLA: I DECLARE THE GREATER EXHIBITION OPEN AND MAY IT SHINE AS THE JEWEL IN ENGLAND'S...
Caption: A CRACK LIKE A MILLION WHIPS, LIKE AN APOCALYPTIC THUNDER, A NOISE BREAKING THE LIGHT BARRIER AND THEN SILENCE. AND THEN THE HIGH PITCHED CRACKING OF THE GLASS STRUCTURE FOLLOWED BY THE CASCADING WAVES OF HUGE JAGGED PIECES OF GLASS IMPACTING ON THE UNREPENTANT GROUND
QUEEN CAMILLA: AT LEAST I'LL GET THE £200 FROM ONE'S FUNNY VIDEO SHOW
PAGE 2
Caption: THE RESOURCES OF THE US ESTABLISHED AS AN EARLY WARNING SYSTEM NOW SERVE A DUAL PURPOSE TO EXTRAPOLATE AND PREDICT NEUTRAL DISASTERS AS THEY ARE THE LARGEST DRAIN ON GOVERNMENT RESOURCES. THEY WERE VERY QUICK TO ANALYSE THAT, IN FACT, THE NOISE WAS NOT A SONIC WEAPON, DESPITE IT'S RHYTHMIC BASES.
Caption: THE ANSWER WAS SO UNBELIEVABLE IT HAD TO BE CHECKED BY EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE INDEPENDENT SOURCE TO AVOID PUBLIC RIDICULE.
Caption: HAVING SUFFERED THE MOST UNDER IT'S AFFECT, THE UK PRIME MINISTER WAS GIVEN THE TASK OF BREAKING NEWS
PRIME MINISTER: WELCOME DISTINGUISHED MEMBERS OF THE WORLD BROAD SHEETS AND SCIENTIFIC JOURNALS.
PRIME MINISTER: AS STARTLING AS THESE FINDINGS ARE THEY ARE THE TRUTH AND I BEG YOU INDULGENCE TO THINK BEFORE PANICKING. THE SOURCE OF THE SONIC CACOPHONY IS EXTRA TERRESTRIAL.
Caption: THERE WAS NO SHORTAGE OF HARDWARE, ASTRONAUTS OR MONEY TO INVESTIGATE THIS PHENOMENON. THEY'D ALL READ THE BOOKS ABOUT FIRST CONTACT.
Caption: THIS WAS THE BIG ONE, STEPPING OUT ON TO SOME BARREN ROCK WAS ONE THING, THIS WAS A DANCING WITH THE DANGEROUS UNKNOWN, THE FINEST FRONTIER, A GRUELLING MEETING OF MINDS AND BODIES
Caption: THEN SUDDENLY THERE IT WAS, ALIEN TECHNOLOGY, ARTHUR C CLARKE HAD NEARLY GOT IT RIGHT, HE WAS JUST WRONG ABOUT THE NUMBER OF SIDES IT HAD
PAGE 3
Caption: A SONIC ATTACK ON EARTH AND A FLOATING PENTAGON IN SPACE ARE TWO STRANGE EVENTS IN THEMSELVES BUT TOGETHER THEY ADD UP TO AN INTRIGUING COINCIDENCE
ASTRONAUT: HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PENTAGON
Caption: THE ONLY WAY IS UP, OR AS IT'S 'OUT THERE NOT UP THERE' THE ONLY WAY IS OUT
ASTRONAUT: THIS IS ONE SMALL SHAPE FOR MAN ONE GIANT LUNGE FOR MANKIND
Caption: ON THE OTHER SIDE
ASTRONAUT: WE'VE LOST RADIO CONTACT
ASTRONAUT: HOW CAN YOU TELL OVER THAT DIN
ASTRONAUT: I SUPPOSE WE BETTER HEAD FOR THE SOURCE OF IT
ASTRONAUT: ONCE YOU GET USE TO IT IT'S QUITE CATCHY
ASTRONAUT: LIKE SUIT GUSSET RASH
ASTRONAUT: SORT YOURSELF OUT, YOU'RE THE CULTURAL ATTACHE
Caption: ONCE SPECIES MUZAK IS ANOTHER RACE'S MUSIC
ASTRONAUT: WE'VE TRAVELLED LIGHT YEARS TO RUN INTO A BUNCH OF HIPPIES
ASTRONAUT: COULD BE GLASTONBURY
ASTRONAUT: COULD BE THE CAMBRIDGE FOLK FESTIVAL
PAGE 4
Caption: ON OTHER PLANETS SOMETHINGS ARE DIFFERENT LIKE IT'S INHABITANTS, AND SOME THINGS ARE SIMILAR LIKE... TV
NEWSREADER: BREAKING NEWS, WE HAVE RECEIVED REPORTS THAT A SPECIAL ENVOY FROM THE THIRD GALAXY HAVE ARRIVED TO WITNESS THEIR OWN FUND RAISER
Caption: ON THE SPOT REPORTER
REPORTER: AS WE LAUNCHED THE BENEFIT CONCERT TO BENEFIT LOWER TECHNOLOGY NATIONS WE LEFT TRANSFER GATES IN CASE THEY HAD THE FACILITIES TO ATTEND AND IT SEEMS THEY HEARD IT AND THEY CAME. IT MUST A BEEN A PERILOUS, DANGEROUS ENDURANCE TO REACH HERE IN A SINGLE LIFETIME OF THEIR SPECIES
Caption: A FEELING OF SYMPATHY EXTENDS BETWEEN TWO DIFFERENT RACES UNITED BUT A SINGLE EYE EACH
ASTRONAUT: WE SPEAK TO YOU IN YOUR OWN PRIMITIVE LANGUAGE AND HAVE ADJUSTED OUR ATMOSPHERE SO YOU CAN BREATHE NORMALLY, YOUR LEATHERED WINKLED SKINS SHOW YOU TO AT THE END OF YOUR LIFE CYCLE
REPORTER: THE ALIEN SEEMS TO BE METAMORPHOSING IN FRONT OF US, TURNING INTO IT'S ADULT STAGE, THIS NORMALLY IS A BEAUTIFUL TRANSFORMATION, BUT THIS IS HIDEOUS A TWO EYED, PINK, HAIRLESS, FRAGILE FLESH POT IS EMERGING
REPORTER: SO HIDEOUS YOUR RACE IS INDEED IN NEED OF OUR HELP, YOUR EVOLUTION HAS GONE OFF ON ONE AND MUST BE FIXED IMMEDIATELY
Caption: THE REPORTER OFFERS A CHEQUE TO THE ASTRONAUTS
REPORTER: ALTHOUGH WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY WE PREFER TO STAND BACK SO HERE'S A MASSIVE CHEQUE TO HELP YOU ON YOUR WAY AND EASE OUR CONSCIOUS
PAGE 5
Caption: A HERO'S RETURNED AWAITED THE CHEQUE, OH YES AND THE ASTRONAUTS. EARTH WAS GLAD THAT THE NOISE HAD ABATED BUT THOUGHT THE MONEY MORE THAN COMPENSATED FOR THE LOSSES
Caption: FIRST UP WAS THE UPDATING AND INSTALLATION OF A MATRIX OF SATELLITE, SO EACH HOME COULD RECEIVES THOUSANDS OF UNORIGINAL TV BROADCASTS
Caption: 'THE GALAXY' AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE LARGE SPACE LINER TO HOUSE HOLIDAY MAKERS GETTING IN ON THE LATEST GREATEST PLACE TO BE. A CULTURAL VACUUM TRAVERSED THE SPATIAL VACUUM
Caption: THE BARREN MOON WAS RECLAIMED AND SET UP AS A HOME FOR THE ALPHA GRADES
Caption: MARS WAS VISITED AND IT'S HEART WAS MINED OUT IN A MATTER OF MONTHS
Caption: AND EARTH BOUGHT THE MAJORITY SHARES IN A FAILING OZONEBALL TEAM. A FINANCIAL INVESTMENT THAT I NEVER UNDERSTOOD IN A SPORT WE ALL FAILED TO COMPREHEND
Caption: THEN ONE FINE DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...
ALIEN: GREETING EARTHBOUND FLESHPOTS. SINCE YOU SQUANDERED YOUR CHEQUE ON IMPROVING YOUR CULTURE, YOUR PLANET HAS RAISED IT'S PROFILE FROM A NO SHOW TO VIABLE TARGET, AND SINCE YOU HAVE NOT INVESTED IN ANY DEFENCES WE ARE HERE TO CLAIM YOU AS OUR PRIZE
PunDing.com/skript/61009
