Title: Mighty Harm Done
Series: Chronicle
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: COMPUTER TECHNICIANS TRY TO REBUILD A BROKEN COMPUTER FIND THEY ARE MISSING A FEW KEY FACTS
PAGE 1
Caption: A SUDDEN NOISE ENTERS YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS
Sfx: KERRING
ROBIN BLAND: BELLS, THE BELLS WHY'S IT ALWAYS BELLS.
Caption: IT SWAPS YOU TO THE CONSCIOUS
ROBIN BLAND: ITS, NEVER THE DAWN CHORUS OR THE HEATING COMING ON
JANE: THAT IS NOT THE ALARM CLOCK
ROBIN BLAND: WHO ARE YOU ARE YOU AN ANGEL?
JANE: THEY WORK YOU TOO HARD
ROBIN BLAND: OH IT'S JUST YOU SIS
JANE: YOU CALLED ROUND AFTER WORK TO SEE IF WE WERE GOING OUT. WELL, WHILST YOU SLEPT WE WENT FOR A DRINK, ENDED UP IN A CLUB AND HAVE JUST GOT BACK. YOU JOINING IN?
ROBIN BLAND: POKER WITH YOU 3 WITCHES? NOT A CHANCE, MY MONEY STAYS IN THE MAXI ISA
PAGE 2
Caption: PERHAPS THE BELL THAT WOKE YOU WAS JUST YOUR BODY CLOCK TELLING YOU THEY ARE ABOUT TO STOP SELLING FOOD. BESIDES THERE'S NO ONE AT THE DOOR NOW
ROBIN BLAND: LARGE DONER, CHILLIES, SALAD, BETTER MAKE IT A DOUBLE, AND IF YOU'VE NONE LEFT JUST ROAST THE SHEEP DOG THAT ROUNDED THEM UP
Caption: ITS ALL ABOUT THAT FIRST BITE, UNINTERRUPTED, A SOLE EXPERIENCE, THE HOT FLESH, THE FAT ROLLING OFF
ALAN SMITHEE: OH THERE YOU ARE, YOUR PHONE'S OFF, CHECKED YOUR GAFF BUT FOUND YOU AT YOUR SISTERS. THE OFFY'S CLOSED GOT ANY TAKEOUTS?
ROBIN BLAND: KERSPLUTTER
ALAN SMITHEE: YOU BETTER DRINK ALL YOUR ALE IMMEDIATELY
ROBIN BLAND: I'VE GOT TO BE IN WORK IN 5 HOURS
ALAN SMITHEE: THAT NO LONGER MATTERS, DRINK YOUR BEER IT'LL CUSHION THE IMPACT
ROBIN BLAND: WHY'S WHAT'S GOING ON
ALAN SMITHEE: WORK CALLED US BOTH IN, THE COMPUTER'S CRASHED WE'RE ON THE CLOCK TIL IT'S FIXED, THEY SENT TRANSPORT, LAST ONE THERE HAS TO ANALYSE THE CORE DUMP
ROBIN BLAND: OH NO, THEY SENT THAT CHARABANG
ALAN SMITHEE: TOLD YOU TO DRINK UP
PAGE 3
Caption: THESE OLD BONE SHAKERS CHURN THE CONTENTS OF YOUR STOMACH UPON TAKE OFF
ALAN SMITHEE: WE'RE BOTH HERE WE CAN LEAVE NOW
Caption: WORSE THAN ALL THE BOOZE, WORSE THAN THE SIGHT OF KEBAB IN DAYLIGHT, IS WHEN THE NEXT MORNING YOU REALISE YOU'VE EATEN THE WHOLE KEBAB, YET WHEN THEY GAVE IT TO YOU IT WAS WRAPPED IN PAPER
ROBIN BLAND: YEP IT'S A COMPLETE CRASH, WELL WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ON A COMPUTER DESIGNED BY A COMPUTER, IMPERFECTIONS MULTIPLY
ALAN SMITHEE: THE LAST KNOWN RECEPTION WAS 45
ROBIN BLAND: 45, DID IT RUN OUT OF MEMORY, GOT IN AN INFINITE LOOP, CORRUPTED IT'S OWN CODE? WHAT SORT OF ANSWER IS A NUMBER? IS THIS A QUESTION?
ROBIN BLAND: PERHAPS IT KNEW THE FUTILITY OF IT'S PROGRAM AND JUST GAVE UP
ALAN SMITHEE: POWER SAVING, HIBERNATION, SHUTDOWN OR SWAP USER?
Caption: WHERE THE COMPUTER ONCE STOOD IS EMPTY SPACE, THERE'S NOTHING THERE
ROBIN BLAND: THERE'S NOTHING THERE
Caption: I ALREADY CAPTIONED THAT
ALAN SMITHEE: THERE'S NOTHING THERE
Caption: DON'T READERS READ CAPTIONS
ROBIN BLAND: NOT IF THE ART IS DESCRIPTIVE ENOUGH
PAGE 4
Caption: A SWEEP OF THE SPACE WHERE THE COMPUTER USED TO BE REVEALS
ROBIN BLAND: THERE'S NOTHING THERE
ALAN SMITHEE: THERE'S NOTHING THERE
Caption: SHE ABOVE
ROBIN BLAND: IS DESTRUCTION COVERED BY OUR SERVICE LEVEL AGREEMENT?
ALAN SMITHEE: DEPENDS WHAT CAUSED IT, WE MIGHT BE LIABLE FOR EVERYTHING OR WE COULD SUE THEM FOR BREACHING THE AGREEMENT
ROBIN BLAND: DIDN'T THE POLITICIANS SEE IT HAPPENING AND SAVE THEMSELVES IN ESCAPE PODS OR ARK LIKE THAT CONTAINING GENE POOLS
ALAN SMITHEE: DUNNO BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME TRACE EVIDENCE IN THAT VESSEL OVER THERE
ROBIN BLAND: ACCORDING TO THE SERVICE LEVEL AGREEMENT THEY HAD NO OFF SITE BACKUPS, THEY'VE LOST EVERYTHING. THEY'LL HAVE TO BE A BESPOKE REBUILD
ALAN SMITHEE: I'VE IDENTIFIED THE SOURCE OF THE SIGNAL
ALAN SMITHEE: ITS THE BLACK BOX
PAGE 5
Caption: WEEKS LATER
ROBIN BLAND: HI I'M DARTH GENTLY, I WON YOUR AUCTION OF AN OBSOLETE COMPUTER ON ESHILLING ON THE INTERWEB. BUYER TO COLLECT
ROBIN BLAND: ONCE WE GET IT INTO PLACE WE'LL JUST HAVE TO REPROGRAMMED IT
ALAN SMITHEE: WITH NO BACKUPS. I WASN'T AROUND WHEN THEY BUILT THE ORIGINAL
ROBIN BLAND: WE STILL HAVE THE BLACK BOX, AFTER WE CLEANED OFF THE VERMIN IT MIGHT STILL BE FUNCTIONING
ALAN SMITHEE: LOOKED LIKE IT WAS WELL SHOT TO PIECES, TO ME
OLD MAN: ITS SO GOOD TO GET A PROPER PAIR OF GLASSES MINE HAVE BEEN DETERIORATING FOR CENTURIES
ALAN SMITHEE: WE KNOW NOTHING OF THE COMPUTER YOU CALL EARTH WE NEED YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO RESTORE IT
OLD MAN: SORRY LOVELY, G AND TED OUT, HOWEVER I BROUGHT A BOX SET OF DVDS OF THE ASCENT OF MAN JUST IN CASE
ALAN SMITHEE: ITS SAYS GOJIRA ON HERE
OLD MAN: YEAH THAT'LL BE IT
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