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| chronicle | Unearthly Smoke | 1/5 | on 60717 | at punding.com |

Title: Unearthly Smoke

Series: Chronicle

Writer: P E Leody

SYNOPIS: THE DEATH OF A MUCH REVERED PUBLIC FIGURE STARTS OFF AN ELECTION FOR HIS SUCCESSOR. BUT THE EVENTUAL WINNER TAKES A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT POLITICAL PATH

PAGE 1


A radio blasts out bland muzak

Sfx: KERBOOM, KERBOOM, KERBOOM, KERBOOM-BOOM


A Man listens to the radio

MAN: THE YOUTH DAY WILL LISTEN TO ANYTHING


A completely empty motorway

MAN: THE ROAD'S COMPLETELY EMPTY WHAT IS A BANK HOLIDAY? THE TWILIGHT ZONE? DID THEY INTRODUCE TOLL CHARGES OVERNIGHT? HAS DR WHO RETURNED? HAS ENGLAND REACHED SOME KIND OF SPORTING FINAL?


A mass of people wearing black armbands, a news readers voice can be heard

NEWS READER: IT IS A DAY OF GREAT SADNESS, THE WORLD SEEMS A SLIGHTLY SMALLER PLACE, THIS WILL TOUCH THE HEART OF EVERY SOUL THAT DRAWS SOLEMN BREATH DURING SUCH PAINFUL TIMES AS THESE


The News Reader on Tthe Telecaster

NEWS READER: FOR IT IS WITH GREAT SADNESS WE ANNOUNCE THE DEATH OF THE PREMIUM CHANNEL'S WEATHER FORECASTER

PAGE 2


A coffin the back of a hearse

NEWS READER: AFTER 3 DAYS OF LYING IN STATE THE BODY WILL BEGIN IT'S LONG JOURNEY


The hearse is traditional looking but can fly through space

NEWS READER: GIVING BILLIONS OF FANS THE UNIVERSE OVER THE CHANCE TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS AND MAYBE EVEN GET A GLIMPSE OF THE TELECASTING LEGEND


The News Reader outside a large house surrounded by guards

NEWS READER: AFTER 3 WEEKS OF MOURNING THE PANEL OF REGULATORS MEET IN TELECASTING MANSION TO PREPARE TO SELECT THE SUCCESSOR TO THE MOST POPULAR FORECASTER SINCE RECORDS BEGAN


OneEye- a One eyed alien, Susie- an earth woman, Trunky- an elephant like alien and Multiman- an alien with multiple facial features, lined up in front of the News Reader

NEWS READER: AND HERE WE SEE THE OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE OF THE FOUR FRONT RUNNERS, NOT ALL OF THEM HAVE FACES SUITABLE FOR TELECASTING OR CAN EVEN SPEAK UNIVEREASE BUT BEING AND ALIEN OPPORTUNITIES EMPLOYER MEANS IT WILL ALL COME DOWN TO SOME DIRTY TACTICAL VOTING

PAGE 3


The News Reader telecasting her news on the Telecaster

NEWS READER: BOOKMAKERS HAVE HAD FIERCE BUSINESS SINCE THE CANDIDATES WERE ANNOUNCED AND ALREADY FAVOURITES ARE BEING IDENTIFIED


The candidates each appear with a bar representing their popularity

NEWS READER: BUT SINCE WE ARE FUNDED WITH PUBLIC BRIBES WE CAN'T MENTION ANY NAMES SO INSTEAD WE HAVE WORTHLESS OPINION POLES TO FEEBLY PREDICT THE OUTCOME. DON'T READ TOO MUCH INTO THESE RESULTS, THE PUBLIC IS KNOWN NOT TO HAVE OPINIONS OF THEIR OWN


The News Reader interviews a manager and a stylist

NEWS READER: I AM JOINED FOR TONIGHTS DISCUSSION BY THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN A FUTURE WEATHER TELECASTERS LIFE, THEIR STYLIST AND THEIR MANAGER. WELCOME, TELL ME WHAT WE CAN EXPECT FROM WHOEVER SURFACES AS THE WINNER


Various merchandising with the images of the candidates on them. A breakfast cereal, a Pez dispenser, a hand puppet and a soap on a rope

MANAGER: GREAT THINGS, THE RIGHT CHOICE COULD CHANGE THE WORLD FOREVER

STYLIST: THIS IS JUST WHAT WE NEED, THE WORLD OF MERCHANDISING HAS BEEN STAGNANT FOR SOME TIME


The News Reader Making an outside broadcast outside the house. She has a hand to an ear listening to the studio's directions and a microphone in the other hand

NEWS READER: SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT YOU JOIN US LIVE AT THE TELECASTING MANSION WE BELIEVE THERE'S BEEN SOME KIND OF DECISION


Green smoke pours from the chimney on the Mansion

NEWS READER: THE PANEL OF REGULATORS CHOOSE TO COMMUNICATE WITH US TODAY WITH GREEN SMOKE

PAGE 4


The News Reader races towards the Mansion

NEWS READER: I SEE SOME MOVEMENT I'VE LEAPT THE SECURITY FENCE AND I'M MAKING MY WAY FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH THE VICTOR, AND HOPEFULLY REPORTER OF THE YEAR


The News Reader meets OneEye and Trunky smoking some doggy objects

NEWS READER: TWO OF YOU, THEY'VE CHOSEN TWO OF YOU

ONEEYE: NOT CHOSEN YET, WE'VE JUST POPPED OUT FOR A CRAFTY FAG


A wide shot of the massive audience assembling outside the house

AUDIENCE: OH, BOOH, HISS, VOTE DON'T SMOKE, PREVAIL DON'T INHALE


The News Reader sits at a computer

NEWS READER: BETTER UPDATE MY CV ANOTHER MISTAKE LIKE THAT AND I'LL BE A SPORTS ANCHOR


Red smoke pours from the Mansion

NEWS READER: HERE WE GO AGAIN THIS TIME IT'S RED SMOKE


The News Reader meets Multiman who has a steaming cup of noodles

NEWS READER: ERRH THAT SMOKE'S NOT A DECISION I PRESUME

MULTIMAN: WELL A DECISION OF SORTS, FOR ME CHOOSING CHICK AND MUSH OVER BEEF AND TOMMY

PAGE 5


The News Reader asleep in her bed with her Teddy. The door bell rings

Sfx: KERRING

NEWS READER: NO NOT AGAIN WITH THE SMOKE, I'M NOT GETTING UP TILL ANOTHER NEWS AGENCY REPORTS IT FIRST


The door slams open, a shadow stands in it, it is the News Director

NEWS DIRECTOR: SHAKE YOUR BOOTY, THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL


The News Reader rushes to work putting her dressing gown on, her hair if flying away

NEWS READER: THEY'VE GOT THE JUMP ON US, WE'LL HAVE TO DO IT LIVE NOW, LOOK AT MY HAIR


The cameraman rubs his camera lenses

NEWS READER: TRIPLE UP ON THE VASELINE ON THE LENS SO I WON'T NEED MAKE UP


From behind OneEye the new Weather Forecaster stands addressing it's new public on the balcony of the Telecaster mansion. The News Reader waits for an interview

NEWS READER: THE NEW DARLING OF THE WEATHER FRATERNITY ADDRESSES IT'S NEW ADORING PUBLIC AS WE WAIT FOR THE FIRST EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, AS A STAR IS BORN


The News Reader interviews the new Telecaster, it is hugely fat now

NEWS READER: CONGRATULATIONS, MIGHTY ONE, WAS THE COMPETITION TOUGH?

ONEEYE: WELL THEY EARTH WOMAN WAS BUT IN THE END I FOUND THE RIGHT CHARCOAL TO BARBECUE WITH. THE GREEN SMOKE MADE HER MOST TENDER. I JUST HAD TO FIND THE RIGHT HERBS AND SPICE FOR THE OTHERS

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