Title: Spring Break
Series: Chronicle
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: ALIEN MIDMARCH THE GARDENER MAKES SOME DECISIONS IN SPRING THAT HAVE DEVASTATING EFFECTS FOR EARTH
PAGE 1
Caption: YOU MAY GET RAIN, YOU MAY GET SNOW BUT EVENTUALLY AS LIFE'S GREAT MILLSTONE TURNS SPRING WILL COME
Caption: AND NOW ON SATTV IT'S TIME FOR A NEW SEASON OF 'GOOD OLDE GARDENS'
ALIEN MIDMARCH: YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE A WEEK AGO THIS WAS THE VIEW FROM MY BACK KITCHEN WINDOW
Caption: WILDLIFE WAS DEEP IN IT'S HIBERNATION AND SNOW AND RAIN KEPT IT FROM EVER THINKING OF WAKING UP
ALIEN MIDMARCH: SIGNS OF A NUCLEAR WINTER WERE EVERYWHERE, IN OUR PRODUCTION OFFICE THINGS WERE GRIM
ALIEN MIDMARCH: BUT FEAR NOT INTREPID GARDENER, AS OF THIS WEEK SPRING IS HERE
PAGE 2
ALIEN MIDMARCH: THIS WEEK I'LL TAKE YOU THROUGH ALL THE TASKS YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS WEEKEND. FIRST ERODE CLEAN ALL YOUR PATHS AND PATIO YOU'LL BE WALKING ACROSS THEM A LOT
ALIEN MIDMARCH: APPLY CHEMICALS TO YOUR FENCE, YOU WILL BE JABBERING A LOT OVER THEM IN THE COMING MONTHS AND YOUR SALVIA CAN CAUSE NASTY CULTURES TO THRIVE
ALIEN MIDMARCH: IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE YOUR POND A MAJOR SERVICE BUT UNTIL THEN JUST PULL OUT THE MAJORITY OF THE WEEDS. CHECKING CAREFULLY FOR ANY TRAPPED WILDLIFE
ALIEN MIDMARCH: GIVE THE GRASS A SHALLOW CUT, YOU ARE NOT TRYING TO MAKE IT LIKE FELT JUST YET, JUST A CROP TO MAKE IT MORE MANAGEABLE OVER THE COMING WEEKS
ALIEN MIDMARCH: OUTSIDE LIGHTS AND LANTERNS REQUIRE A SERVICE, THEY WILL BE USED A LOT IN THE COMING LONGER NIGHTS. YOUR SOLAR POWERED ONES WILL STAY ON UNTIL MIDNIGHT NOW
ALIEN MIDMARCH: REMEMBER THOUGH YOUR PLANTS ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WAKING UP. THEIR PREDATORS ARE STRUGGLING TOO, PUT DOWN PLENTY OF PELLETS
PAGE 3
ALIEN MIDMARCH: REMEMBER PATIO HEATERS SHOULD ONLY BE USED IN THE SUMMER AND NOT LEFT OUTSIDE, EXCEPT THE BOTTLE WHICH SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN INSIDE
ALIEN MIDMARCH: YOUR COMPOST HEAP WILL NEED TURNING, IT'S NOT QUITE READY FOR USE YET BUT YOU SHOULD NOW SWITCH TO YOUR ALTERNATE HEAP FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR
ALIEN MIDMARCH: AMONGST ALL THIS ACTIVITY REMEMBER THAT THE LAWN IS VERY SENSITIVE, TRY TO KEEP ON THE PATHS AND MAKE AS FEW JOURNEYS AS POSSIBLE
ALIEN MIDMARCH: WHILST THE SOIL IS STILL COLD IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO GET A BATCH OF TREBLE DIGGING IN THAT WILL SOFTEN THE EARTH WHEN YOU COME TO PLANT IN IT LATER IN THE SEASON
ALIEN MIDMARCH: HEDGES NEEDS A GENTLE TRIM, ALTHOUGH HEDGE TRIMMERS ARE SAFER, A CHAINSAW WILL GET THE JOB DONE WITH MUCH MORE SATISFACTION
ALIEN MIDMARCH: TURN OVER ALL THE LARGE ROCKS IN YOUR GARDEN, NASTY ANIMALS HAVE A HABIT OF HIDING ON THEIR DARK SIDES
PAGE 4
ALIEN MIDMARCH: BY NOW YOUR ACTIVITIES WILL HAVE HIGHLIGHTED OTHER JOBS THAT NEED DOING, LIKE OILING THE CREAKING GATE
ALIEN MIDMARCH: IF IT HAS BEEN DRY WINTER IT IS BEST TO SOAK THE EMERGING SHOOTS. ALSO THIS WILL GIVE YOU AN CHANCE TO CHECK YOU HOSE FOR ANY LEAKS CAUSED BY FREEZING OF THE PIPES
ALIEN MIDMARCH: REMEMBER THE CHILDREN'S PETS THAT MAY HAVE BEEN HIBERNATING, BRING THEM OUT INTO THE WARM AND WASH THEIR EYES GENTLY WITH A MILD SOAP
ALIEN MIDMARCH: IT IS TIME TO UNWRAP THOSE TENDER THINGS YOU PROTECTED WITH INSULATION DURING THE WINTER
ALIEN MIDMARCH: THE PROTECTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN DAMAGED BUT WILL HAVE STOPPED HARMFUL RAYS. NOW IT SHOULD BE HARDY AGAINST THEM
ALIEN MIDMARCH: THIS WILL ALSO KILL OFF AN NASTIES THAT HAVE MANAGED TO SETTLE ON IT
PAGE 5
NEWS READER: AS A NEW SUN SPOT CYCLE BEGINS DISASTERS STRIKE ACROSS THE PLANET
NEWS READER: HUGE RAIN FALL HITS EARTH WASHING AWAY VAST AREAS OF MUD
NEWS READER: ASTEROIDS BOMBARD THE EARTH. THEIR IMPACT DAMAGE IS BAD BUT THE NOXIOUS CHEMICALS THEY EMIT RENDERS MILLIONS DEAD
NEWS READER: A WOBBLE ON EARTH'S AXIS CAUSES LIGHT TO PENETRATE WHERE NO LIGHT HAS GONE BEFORE, BLINDING AND SCORCHING WILDLIFE
NEWS READER: WE ARE JUST RECEIVING REPORTS THAT THE OZONE LAYER SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN PULLED AWAY BY SOME MAGNETIC FIELD
NEWS READER: EARTH'S IS ROASTING AND LIFE IS EXPECTED TO BE EXTINCT IN DAYS. NOW FINALLY..
PunDing.com/skript/60327
