Title: 08 The Psychiatrist
Series: All's right with the crew
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: THE COUNCIL INFLICTS A PSYCHIATRIST ON THE CREW BUT REVENGE IS SWEET
PAGE 1
DOCTOR JONES: HELLO I'M DOCTOR JONES, I'VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO ASSESS THIS CREW
Sfx: KERDROOL
CLAMIDIA: DON'T MIND THEM, THEY GET VERY THIRSTY
DOCTOR JONES: DON'T MIND ME JUST CARRY ON AS NORMAL
DOCWHATSON: IT WILL HAVE TO BE WITHOUT SIGHT COS YOUR BEAUTY HAS BLINDED ME
GENTLESVEN: FIRST THING WE HAVE A SIT DOWN AND DRINK HERBAL TEA
TWOEYEDJACK: THE BISCUITS ARE JUST FOR YOU, THEY INTERFERE WITH OUR FITNESS ROUTINE
GINGERKAHN: WE REVIEW THE PREVIOUS MISSIONS, UPDATING THE RISK REGISTER AND LOOKING FOR GUILTY IMPROVEMENT
DOCTOR JONES: HOW NEAT YOU'D THINK NO ONE HAD EVER SAT AT THIS DESK
DOCWHATSON: OH REALLY
CLAMIDIA: HERE YOU GO LOVE IF YOU WANNA TAKE A CONSTITUTIONAL THERE'S A COPY OF THE MALE ALREADY IN THERE
PAGE 2
DOCTOR JONES: YOUR CREW BAR CLAMIDIA ARE WIMPS. CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE TODAY
BANDANACUSTARD: ILL TALK TO THEM
BANDANACUSTARD: STOP THE PUSSY FOOTING AROUND, FAINT HEART NEVER WON FAIR MAIDEN OR A GOOD PSYCHIATRIC REPORT
DOCWHATSON: YOU WERE WELL OUT OF ORDER YESTERDAY
GINGERKAHN: I'M THE BOSS I GET FIRST CALL ON VISITING TOTTY
TWOEYEDJACK: OH NO NEVER
Sfx: KERCRASH, KERCRASH, KERCRASH
GENTLESVEN: OH NO NEVER NO MORE
DOCTOR JONES: THIS IS A PERKY LITTLE NUMBER
CLAMIDIA: GET IT DOWN YA, YOUR GONNA NEED IT WITH TWOEYEDJACK'S LANDING SKILLS
GINGERKAHN: ITS LAST ORDERS, YARDS OF STOUT ALL ROUND
DOCWHATSON: AS LONG AS WE'VE SAMBUCA CHASERS
CLAMIDIA: BEST TO CRAWL LOVE, LESS FAR TO FALL IF YOU TIPPLE
PAGE 3
Caption: DAY 3
GINGERKAHN: OK BOSS WE'LL BE THERE AFTER DOCTOR JONES FINISHES THE BO KARAOKE RHAPSODY
GINGERKAHN: TOLD YOU WE'D GET A SHOUT BEFORE THE DAY IS OUT
GINGERKAHN: THE LATER ONES TENDS TO BE MORE INTERESTING
TWOEYEDJACK: SORRY MISSED THE DOOR AGAIN
GINGERKAHN: NO SHOWING OF NOW
GINGERKAHN: WE'RE ON THE JOB. ERH ANY BODY KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING?
TWOEYEDJACK: I THINK IT'S THIS PLANET
CLAMIDIA: WHICH ONE OF THE TWO WE'VE HAVE WE LANDED ON?
GINGERKAHN: DON'T FORGET YOUR CLIPBOARD DOCTOR JONES, THE MACHINES ARE EQUIPPED WITH SICK BAGS
PAGE 4
GINGERKAHN: BEST SIT WITH ME FOR THE FIRST INCIDENT SO AS YOU KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT
DOCTOR JONES: OVER THERE THERE'S THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TRY TO ESCAPE FROM A COLLAPSING BUILDING
GINGERKAHN: WE CAN'T HAVE THAT
DOCTOR JONES: ARE YOU ON THE RIGHT SIDE?
GINGERKAHN: THERE YOU GO SORTED
DOCTOR JONES: BUT YOU SQUASHED THEM ALL
GINGERKAHN: QUITE RIGHT, IT WAS TOO EASY, BETTER MAKE SURE THEY'RE REALLY DONE FOR
GENTLESVEN: ALRIGHT LOVE HOW YA GETTING ON
DOCTOR JONES: YOUR BOSS JUST CRUSHED LOADS OF PEOPLE UNDER A BUILDING
GENTLESVEN: I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, TOO INEFFICIENT
PAGE 5
DOCTOR JONES: THERE LOOK A FLOOD HAS SUBMERGED THAT TOWN ALL THE PEOPLE ARE TREADING WATER
DOCWHATSON: BEST NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO TIRE THEMSELVES OUT
DOCWHATSON: I'LL ACCELERATE THEM THE INEVITABLE
TWOEYEDJACK: YOUR MACHINE SUN SHADE MAKES IT ALL DARK IN HERE, HOW DO YOU SEE?
TWOEYEDJACK: BEST IF YOU DON'T, IT HELPS THE DIZZINESS
CLAMIDIA: HELLO SISTER, WANNA SEE IT FROM A WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW
Caption: FINAL DAY
GINGERKAHN: SHE'S LEFT
DOCWHATSON: WAS IT SOMETHING WE SAID
GENTLESVEN: DID WE SMELL?
CLAMIDIA: DODGY PRAWN PHAL?
TWOEYEDJACK: PERHAPS SHE'S HAVING A DUVET DAY
BANDANACUSTARD: THE COUNCIL HAVE DECREED NO MORE EVALUATIONS, EVER. TODAY THERE'S AN EX-EMPLOYEE GONE COUNCIL, YOU MUST STOP HER OR RECRUIT HER
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