Title: Home Sweat Home
Series: Chronicle
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: AS A RESULT OF SIGNIFICANT ADVANCES IN GENETIC ENGINEERING MANKIND CAN NOW KEEP ASTRONAUTS ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO COMPLETE A RETURN JOURNEY TO THE EDGE OF THE GALAXY. ON THEIR RETURN THE ASTRONAUTS ARE ATTACKED IN THE SPACE, THE AIR AND ON LAND. BARELY ESCAPING WITH THEIR LIVES THEY MAKE THEIR OWN WAY HOME TO FIND IN THEIR ABSENCE EARTHLINGS HAVE GENETICALLY MUTATED. AS UNBEKNOWNINGLY HAVE THEY.
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COMMENTATOR: YOU JOIN US LIVE ON A MOMENTOUS OCCASION
COMMENTATOR: FROM OUR POLLUTION BUSTING GENETIC ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY WE HAVE MANAGED TO ALTER HUMANS FOR LONG HAUL SPACE TRAVEL
COMMENTATOR: LARRY AND MARY BLAST OFF TODAY IN HISTORY, ON A LEGENDARY JOURNEY OF DISCOVERY.
COMMENTATOR: THEY ARE TRAVELLING TO THE VERY EDGE OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE
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COMMENTATOR: FIRST THEY HEAD DIRECTLY TOWARDS THE SUN, SWERVING OFF AT THE LAST MINUTE TO START A SLING SHOT ORBIT
COMMENTATOR: REMEMBER FROM SCHOOL *ME VERY 'EAVY MONKEY, JUMP SOME UNDER NOURISHED PRIMATE*, WELL THEY'LL BE PASSING EVERY ONE OF THOSE PLANETS FROM THAT GREAT MNEMONIC
COMMENTATOR: NO KIND OF GENETIC MODIFICATIONS CAN SPEED UP THE JOURNEY. IT WILL TAKE A LONG LONG TIME
COMMENTATOR: SOON OUR PLANET WILL BE JUST A MEMORY, A KEEPSAKE IN A FANCY FRAME, THAT WILL BE MISSED SO MUCH
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LARRY: THAT'S IT DEAR, JOURNEYS END, ALL DATA HAS BEEN COLLECTED
MARY: SO THAT WAS THE RIM OF THE UNIVERSE, LETS GO HOME AND HAVE A NICE CUP OF TEA
LARRY: WHAT'S THAT
MARY: LOOKS LIKE AN ASTEROID FIELD
LARRY: THEY ARE PROXIMITY MINES
MARY: EVASIVE ACTION
LARRY: WE'VE GOT INCOMINGS
MARY: ARE YOU SURE THEY ARE NOT MISGUIDED FIREWORKS
LARRY: THIS ISN'T THE WELCOME I EXPECTED
MARY: BRACE FOR IMPACT
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LARRY: THIS IS EARTH ISN'T IT
MARY: YEP HOME SWEET HOME
LARRY: LAST ONE ON THE SURFACE IS A SMELLY
MARY: RACE YOU!
Sfx: KERBANG
LARRY: THAT WAS AN EMP STRIKE
MARY: PROBABLY TRYING TO REVIVE US WITHOUT BREACHING QUARANTINE REGULATIONS
LARRY: LOOK THEY'RE GIVING US FULL MILITARY HONOURS
LARRY: THEY'VE COME TO BURY US NOT PRAISE US
LARRY: LAUNCH ESCAPE POD
MARY: WAY AHEAD OF YOU
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LARRY: THIS IS DEFINITELY EARTH BUT IT'S A LOT WARMER THAN I REMEMBER
MARY: WE'VE BEEN IN ICE COLD SPACE TOO LONG, BEST LEAVE OUR SUITS ON
LARRY: I'M SURE THEY SAID THEY'D PICK US UP
MARY: PROBABLY FORGOT TO PUT IT IN THEIR DIARIES
LARRY: SO WE GOT PICKED UP EVENTUALLY
MARY: YES BUT ON CRIMINAL CHARGES
PRIME MINISTER: SO WE FOILED YOUR SCHEME TO TAKE OVER OUR WORLD, SO WHERE ARE OUR REAL ASTRONAUTS.
LARRY: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH OUR SPECIES?
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