Title: Star Charter
Series: Ignore alien orders
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS:
PAGE 1
ANNIE: GOOD MORNING, TODAY SEES THE SELECTION OF THE NEW PRIME DICTATOR OF THE UNITED INDEPENDENTS BROADCASTING QUANGO
ANNIE: BROUGHT TO YOU LIVE FROM THE UIBQ HEADQUARTERS BY CHANNEL XXL
ANNIE: FIRST TO ARRIVE IS GREEN MCCLEAN EX LEADER OF THE THIRD PARTY AND WORLD RENOWN FOR HIS WACKY THOUGH SOME SAY ENVIRONMENTAL FRIENDLY POLICIES
ANNIE: NEXT IS THE ENERGETIC EX CHILDREN'S PRESENTER ANDY EXPANDY, MAKING FAST PROGRESS THROUGH THE TRAFFIC WITH HIS 'STIRLING ENGINE' CHARGED 'BATTERY MOBILE'
ANNIE: AND FINALLY SIR LORD VAST MUGGINS IN HIS TRADEMARK STYLE AND ELEGANCE, VOTED MOST LIKELY TO EXCEED BY HIS OLD SCHOOL
ANNIE: AND THE SURPRISE NEWS IS WE HAVE A LATE ENTRY UNDER THE MINORITY CHARTER
ANNIE: FOR THE DURATION OF IT'S STAY ON THIS PLANET WE WILL KNOW HIM AS GREGORY
PAGE 2
ANNIE: AND HERE FOR THE CAMERAS BEFORE THEIR INTERVIEWS WE MEET
ANNIE: THE CANDIDATES REPRESENTING THEIR OWN STYLES OF SENSIBILITY, SENSITIVITY, SYCOPHANCY AND WELL CLOSE ENCOUNTER 3
GREEN: I PROMISE TO CALIBRATE ALL PRODUCTIONS TO INTERNATIONAL SOCIAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL STANDARDS. I SEE MY SELF AS A GENTLE GAIA.
ANDY: I HAVE A REAL CONNECTION TO OUR YOUTH, AND YOUTH IS THE FUTURE, THEY NEED TO BE DRIVING THE BAR THROUGH THE GLASS CEILINGS AND APPROACH THE NEXT EVENT HORIZON OF BROADCASTING
MUGGINS: GOOD TO SEE A PANEL SELECTED FROM *AHEM* THE NOBLEST OF GENTLEMAN'S CLUB. BETTER CUT THIS SHORT AS WE NEED TO BE ON THE FIRST TEE IN AN HOURS TIME.
GREGORY: SPOT IS IN THE GARDEN. THE BALL IS IN THE GARDEN. DICK AND JANE THROW THE BALL TO SPOT.
PAGE 3
ANNIE: SO HOW DID IT GO?
GREEN: I MADE MYSELF CLEAR WITHOUT BEING FORCEFUL AND FELT GOOD VIBES
ANDY: ITS IN THE BAG THE PANEL REMEMBER WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE YOUNG AND GIFTED
MUGGINS: CARE TO JOIN ME IN A VICTORY CIGAR?
GREGORY: OU EST MES VALISES?
ANNIE: SO TEXT IN YOUR VOTES NOW, THERES A WEEK HOLIDAY IN SKEGNESS FOR EVERY MILLIONTH VOTER. ALL PROCEEDS WILL RECHARGE OUR NATIONAL PENSION CHEST
ANNIE: AND THE WINNER IS
GREGORY: ACEEEEEED
PAGE 4
ANNIE: IT’S A TOUGH JOB TO ACLIMITAIZE TO, SO MUCH ADMINISTRATION, SO LITTLE EXCITEMENT
ANNIE: ITS NOT ABOUT WHAT'S ON TV NOW BUT BUILDING FUTURE PROGRAMMES, PREDICTING TRENDS, ANTICIPATING REAL LIFE EVENTS
ANNIE: GREGORY RESERVES TIME TO SPEAK TO HIS VIEWERS, WHOSE OPINIONS HE SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT
ANNIE: WHILST NOT FORGETTING THE FORMALITY THAT HAS HELD THIS ASSOCIATION TOGETHER THROUGH MANY BITTER TIMES
ANNIE: HE HAS TO BALANCE INVESTMENT IN NEWER STARS WITH REINVESTMENT IN CURRENT STARS. ITS NOT ANY KIND OF EVERGREEN TO REST UPON
ANNIE: THAT'S A HUGE RISE TWICE THAT OF WHAT COUNCIL TAX HAS GONE UP THIS DECADE, BUT I BELIEVE IT'S WORTH IT
PAGE 5
ANNIE: AND NOW FOR HIS FIRST PUBLIC SPEECH
GREGORY: TOUCH MY BUM
ANNIE: AND AS GREGORY LEAVES ON HIS SUMMER BREAK, HE LEAVES UP A POORER BUT HAPPIER RACE, HERE WE REVIEW THE PROGRAMMES HIS LEGACY HAS LEFT US
ANNIE: WHEREVER HE IS GOING THEY MUST BE VERY PROUD OF HIM
GREGORY: HAVING SECURED THE POST I COMMISSIONED EVERY BIT OF REALITY TV NEEDED SO WE NEED NOT SPEND A SINGLE GROTSIT EARNING ABOUT THESE HUMANS AND THEIR WEAKNESSES. WE CAN NOW INVEST HEAVILY IN OUR BATTLE FLEET!
PunDing.com/skript/31125
