Title: Et Al
Series: Chronicle
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS:
PAGE 1
MANDY: THERE ARE NO SECRETS FROM OUR NEXT GUEST JOE OTHERWISE KNOWN AS 'THE ANONYMOUS PHYSIC'
MANDY: HELLO JOE, HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY
JOE: WELL MY DEATH DAY IS ONE DAY CLOSER
AUDIENCE: HAHA
MANDY: DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR ARE GOING TO DIE?
JOE: NO, MY PERSONAL FATE IS INVISIBLE
AUDIENCE: OERR
MANDY: EARLIER THIS WEEK WE SET OUT TO TEST JOE'S SKILLS AS HE WROTE DOWN LAST NIGHT'S LOTTERY NUMBERS
MANDY: AND YOU SAID 15,17,38,39,44,45. THE ACTUAL NUMBERS WERE
JOE: 15,17,38,39,44,45
AUDIENCE: FIX
AUDIENCE: ANYONE CAN DO THAT, HOW ABOUT PREDICTING THE WEEKEND'S NUMBERS?
JOE: IT WONT DO YOU ANY GOOD
AUDIENCE: CHICKEN
JOE: OK I DID WARN YOU 2,13,23,27,31,47
PAGE 2
ANNOUNCER: WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND LOTTERY, ESTIMATE PRIZE IS £10,000,000
ANNOUNCER: 31, 2, 47, 23, 13 AND 27
ANNOUNCER: AND WE HAVE APPROXIMATELY 30 MILLION WINNERS TONIGHT
TONY: WOW THAT PHYSIC WAS RIGHT, AT A MINIMUM PAY OUT THAT'LL BANKRUPT THE SYNDICATE
JOE: I DID TRY TO TELL THEM
TONY: THAT WAS YOU
JOE: GUILTY AS CHARGED
TONY: YOU CAN REALLY SEE THE FUTURE?
JOE: ONLY IF I'M SOBER, CHEERS
TONY: COME ON IN
JOE: YOU'LL REGRET IT
TONY: LET ME THE JUDGE OF THAT
JOE: AT LEAST I'LL BE SOBER IN THE MORNING
JOE: LAST CHANCE TO THROW ME OUT
TONY: YOU AND ME SON NEXT THIS TIME NEXT WEEK WE'LL BE
JOE: BEEN THERE DONE THAT
TONY: YOU CAN HAVE THE RUN OF THIS PLACE IF YOU ANSWER A SINGLE QUESTION
JOE: THE ANSWERS NO
TONY: WHAT HARM COULD ONE QUESTION DO?
JOE: I MEAN THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS 'NO' YOUR WIFE AINT CHEATING WITH LUIGI
TONY: ARGH
JOE: ITS WITH MARIO
PAGE 3
TONY: JOE MY MAN, HOW ARE YOU
JOE: AS PREDICTED
TONY: HAVING HAD A COUPLE OF WEEKS TO RECUPERATE I COULD DO WITH YOUR HELP
JOE: THERE IS NO GAMBLE ON THIS PLANET THAT COULD SIGNIFICANTLY ENHANCE YOUR WEALTH
TONY: NO, IT'S PURE BUSINESS
TONY: THESE ARE MY
JOE: ASSOCIATES?
TONY: WELL HELL YES, SEE WHAT A PROPER EDUCATION DOES FOR YOU. MY ASSOCIATES.
TONY: WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS MINGLE AND FIND OUT WHICH OF THESE ASSOCIATES ARE TRYING TO MUSCLE IN ON ME.
TONY: WELL
JOE: ALL BUT MARIO ARE PLANNING TO SLICE AND DICE YOU
TONY: AND HE'S THE ONE DISRESPECTING MY WIFE
JOE: I CAN GET DETAILS
TONY: NO YOU GET BACK TO THE POOL, THERE'S NOTHING GOING TO BE DECIDED IN THAT MEETING TODAY
PAGE 4
NEWSREADER: AND TOP MEDAL IN THE NEWS YEARS HONOURS LIST GOES TO THE ELUSIVE TONY ARMADILLO, WHOSE ASTOUNDING SUCCESS IN THE INTERNATIONAL FIELD HAS BROUGHT HIM HUGER PERSONAL REWARDS AS WELL AS ENHANCING LESS BETTER OFF COUNTRIES
TONY: I WANT YOU TO COME TO THE CEREMONY
JOE: MY PROVIDING YOU WITH INFORMATION OF AN ADVANTAGEOUS NATURE DOES NOT EXTEND TO BLACKMAILING THE QUEEN
TONY: I MEANT IN A NON WORKING CAPACITY
JOE: I CANT, YOU CANT WE CAN'T
TONY: WHY NOT
JOE: IT’S A TRAP TO IDENTIFY AND ASSASSINATE YOU
JOE: COME ON
TONY: HAVE YOU EVER KNOW ME LIE, NO BECAUSE I CANT, HAVE YOU EVER KNOW ME BE WRONG- NO BECAUSE I NEVER AM
JOE: YOU BETTER LAY OFF THE GRAPE JUICE
TONY: ITS YOUR CALL
NEWSREADER: TERRIBLE TRAGEDY FOR THE COUNTRY TODAY AS A OUR LEADING PHILANTHROPIST TONY ARMADILLO WAS KILLED IN A FREAK ACCIDENT WHILST ON THE WAY TO HIS ROYAL AWARD PRESENTATION.
JOE: SO WHO CAUGHT IT IN YOUR PLACE
TONY: ALFONSO
JOE: TOO BAD I LIKED HIM, HE MIXED A GREAT MARGARITAS
TONY: I'M SURE NIC'LL APPRECIATE THAT
JOE: NOBODIES SUSPECTS ANYTHING
TONY: I'M NOW OFFICALLY INVISIBLE, I’LL BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING
JOE: YOU MIGHT WANNA GET SOME REAL FLWOERS
PAGE 5
TONY: PICK ANY ONE YOU WANT, THEY'RE ALL GENUINE
JOE: EXCEPT THAT ONE
TONY: REALLY
JOE: YEP EVEN THE ONE IN THE MUSEUM'S A FAKE TOO
TONY: DO YOU KNOW HOW YOUR GONNA DIE
JOE: NO MY FUTURE IS HIDDEN FROM ME
TONY: WHAT ABOUT ME
JOE: CURIOUSLY NOT YOU EITHER
TONY: THAT MUST MEAN I OUTLIVE YOU
JOE: MEANS THERE MUST BE SOME CIRCUMSTANCES
TONY: I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS A ABOUT YOU
JOE: AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT YOU
TONY: YES
TONY: NOW WE ARE BOTH SAFE
TONY: RICH AND, FREE. WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT THIS CANT BE GUILT
TONY: I NOW KNOW EVERYTHING, MY COMPANY’S GOING TO START AND WAR AND END THIS PLANET. ONLY MY DEATH CAN PREVENT IT
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