Title: Welcome To Our Hole
Series: Ignore alien orders
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS:
PAGE 1
MAGGS: GULZAR HAD AMBITION, HE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS AND DICTORIAL LEADER OF HIS OWN DEATH STRIKE SQUADS
MAGGS: HE CAME FROM A STABLE GENE POOL MIXED BY EVIL MINDED PARASITES DOMINATING OVER THE INDIGENOUS LIFE FORM OF THE PLANET UHMBAR
MAGGS: HE MADE HIS NAME BY SINGLE HANDLED ENSLAVING PLANETS BY COLD CALLING AND USING PERSUASIVE THREATENING BEHAVIOUR
MAGGS: ONLY ONE PLANET HAD THE GALL TO STAND UP TO THE INVASION, A SMALL PLANET CLOSE TO A SUN THAT THE INHABITANTS USE TO CALL EARTH.
PAGE 2
DAVE: NO YOU GOT IT WRONG MAGS, GULZAR WAS THE HOST, THE PARASITES NAME'S WAS ENRIX AND IT WAS THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL.
MAGGS: YOU'RE GETTING OLD DAVE YOUR MIND'S SLIPPING
DAVE: NEVER
MAGGS: THERE'S SOME ONE HERE TO SEE YOU DAVE
DAVE: CAN'T BE FOR ME PERHAPS IT WANTS TO BE TAKEN TO OUR LEADER
MAGGS: DESPITE HIS ORIGINS GULZAR WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR GOING BACK IN TIME AND KICK STARTING THE HUMAN RACE WITH THE BIG BANG
DAVE: THAT’S POPPY COCK AS WELL AS BEING A COMPLETE CLICHE, IT WAS THE MAD EARTH SCIENTIST WHOSE TIME EXPERIMENT CREATED THE PARASITES.
MARC: YOU BREWED THAT TEA YET? I'VE JUST BURIED OUR TIME CAPSULE WITH OUR COMPLETE UMBARIAN TOY COLLECTION. WHOSE YOU FRIEND?
PAGE 3
MAGGS: IT LOOKS LOST, WE'D BETTER FEED AND SHELTER IT TONIGHT
DAVE: THEN CHECK THE WOODS TOMORROW FOR IT'S BELONGINGS
MARC: THE FOREST DESTRUCTION STARTS AT 11:00AM SO WE NEED AN EARLY START
MAGGS: GULZAR WAS THE PARASITE
DAVE: IT WAS THE HOST
MARC: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT AN TYRANNICAL ALIEN THAT WAS RED
MAGGS: SCARLET
DAVE: CRIMSON
MARC: IS THERE ANY OF THAT CORVOSIERE LEFT?
MARC: WOW, WARM TO DAY. YO HO
MAGGS: HELLO AND WELCOME
DAVE: CALLING OCCUPANT OF INTERPLANETARY CRAFT?
MAGGS: NICE JOB WITH THE 30 FOOT FIRE
MARC: WE'RE MEANT TO BE ENJOYING THIS FOREST'S LAST DAY, NOT HELPING RAISE IT
DAVE: 20 YEARS AGO WE USED TO PLAY HERE WITH PLASTIC CRIMSON ALIENS
MAGGS: SCARLET
DAVE: THEM TOO, NOW WE'VE A REAL ALIEN AND THE FOREST IS NO MORE, IS THAT PROGRESS?
PAGE 4
MAGGS: SCARLET
DAVE: FOR O'HARA MAYBE THIS WAS CRIMSON
MARC: ANYBODY SEEN OUR FRIEND? ABOUT TURN
MARC: THE ORIGINAL STORY WAS IN BLACK AND WHITE
DAVE: THEY RECOLOURED 'GONE WITH THE WIND'
MAGGS: IT WAS THE DYNAMO THAT WAS CRIMSON
DAVE: WHAT THE LABEL MAKER?
MAGGS: OH THERE YOU ARE
DAVE: WATCHDA DOING
MARC: LETS HAVE A LOOK
MAGGS: THERE'RE PINE CONES
DAVE: I BET THEY'RE LIKE GOLD ON IT'S PLANET
MARC: WELL LETS MAKE IT RICH THEM
MAGGS: HOW ABOUT MAUVE
DAVE: AS A COMPROMISE? OR THE COLOUR OF YOUR FACE WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE WRONG
MARC: AS HIGH AS YOU CAN WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE GROUND SHEET DOWN HERE
MARC: IN YOUR OWN TIME
MARC: THERE YOU GO GOOD BUDDY
MAGGS: BUY YOURSELF A NICE CARAVAN
DAVE: STAY WELL AWAY FROM TENTS
PAGE 5
MAGGS: OH IT’S A SCOUT SHIP
DAVE: I WONDER HOW MANY SCOUTS IT PACKS?
DAVE: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT THIS FLEA BITTEN THING? PRESUMABLY THIS ALIEN THANG DON'T DO ALCHEMY?
MAGGS: THANKS. WHAT IS IT? 2001 WAYS TO COOK FOR HUMAN BEINGS?
MAGGS: WELL THERE GOES THE NEIGHBOUR HOOD
MARC: NOT SO I'VE AN IDEA
ANNOUNCER: THIS IS A SPECIAL AWARD TO THE 3 THAT FOUND THIS STRANGE STONE. AND SAVED THE FOREST BY TURNING IN INTO AN AREA OF BIZARRE ARCHEOLOGY
ALIEN: TTYHEJK EKK HEKEKEJK JJKEHK EJEELJK HEKJOEJK
Caption: TRANSLATION 'THIS IS A SPECIAL AWARD TO HAMMAS WHO HAS FOUND A NEWS SOURCE OF OUR PRIZED DELICACY AND IN DOING INADVERTENTLY SAVED IT PLANET FROM NATURALISATION BY OUR DEATH STRIKES'
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