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| ignore alien orders | Humble In The Jungle | 1/5 | on 30331 | at punding.com |

Title: Humble In The Jungle

Series: Ignore alien orders

Writer: P E Leody

SYNOPIS: 

PAGE 1

All frames bar the final one are chalk and blackboard drawings in the style of primitive cave paintings


1 
Animals running from left to right. A mouse leads, chased by a snake, chased by an anteater

Caption: ON A PRIMITIVE PLANET IT’S JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE SCIENTIFIC DIARY OF SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST


2 
Animals running from left to right. A hog leads, chased by a tiger, chased by a bear

Caption: ITS NOT AN SPECIFIC DAY MONTH OR YEAR. YOU ARE EITHER CHASING YOUR NEXT MEAL OR ESCAPING FROM BECOMING ONE


3 
Animals running from left to right. A elephant leads being chased by a caveman with a spear chased by the mouse from frame 1

Caption: THE HIGHEST FORM OF EVOLUTION IS THE BIPED WHICH IS AT IT'S MOST DANGEROUS WHEN HUNGRY AND AT IT'S MOST SCARED WHEN FACED WITH THE SMALL AND HAIRY


4 
Some cavemen with pointing spears have cornered an animal, whilst another runs up a tree

Caption: THEY ARE SMALL IN NUMBERS BUT BASIC COMMUNICATION SKILLS GIVE THEM THE EDGE. THEY PREFER FAST FOOD AS THE PREY'S RUNNING KEEPS THE MEAT TENDER


5 
Cavemen carrying their prey tied upside down to a pole between them. The caveman bumps into a massive foot that disappears up the page

Caption: FOR ALL THEIR INTELLIGENCE THEY ARE NOT AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN, BUT THEY KNOW WHO IS

PAGE 2


1 
The cavemen on top of the foot prod it with spears

Caption: THE INITIAL GUT REACTION IS TO THINK OF THE RUMBLING TUMMY


2 
The foot shakes and sends the caveman flying

Caption: LUCKILY THEIR HUNGER BLINDS THEM TO ALL BUT THE ACHIEST PAIN


3 
Cavemen running pursued by the foot

Caption: THE HUNTER BECOMES THE PREY AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY WILL NOT SEE THE END OF THIS DAY


4 
The cavemen cross a rope bridge over a chasm, one waits to chop it down

Caption: THEIR TRIBE DOES HAVE A RADICAL BRIGADE OF THINKERS


5 
The caveman chop the bridge supports

Caption: THAT CAN TRANSCEND THE BRUTALITY AND REGAIN THE ADVANTAGE ON A CEREBRAL HIGH GROUND


6 
The monster stops at the chasm edge

Caption: IN BATTLE OF BRAINS OVER BRAWN


7 
The monster just strides across the chasm and lands right next to the caveman, all seems lost

Caption: BRAWN WINS YET AGAIN


8 
A gun shot runs out

Caption: PERCHOO!

PAGE 3


1 
Standing next to the fallen animal brandishing a gun is the saviour. The cavemen kneel worshipping the new arrival

Caption: ON THIS DAY THEIR LIVES ARE CHANGED BY AN OUT OF TIME HUNTER WITH HIS 'FIRE STICK'


2 
The hunter is seated in the lap of luxury on a throne being served by the primitives. The nearby rifle is the source of power.

Caption: QUALIFICATION FOR DEITY STATUS


3 
A vast hoard of animals descend up the cavemen's camp

Caption: DRAWBACKS, CONTINUOUS INSURRECTION THAT NEEDS QUELLING


4 
The saviour empties his gun in to the hoard but they keep coming

Caption: WEAKNESS, A LIMITED SUPPLY OF AMMUNITION


5 
The saviour is devoured by the hoard and they finally close on the cavemen

Caption: WITH THE DECIDEDLY NONE SCIENTIFIC INTERRUPTION CLEARED THE BRIEF REIGN OF EX TYRANNY IS ABOUT TO SUBSIDE TO TRYANNY REX


6 
A circle of white light illuminates the primitives and the attacking hoard retreats

Caption: UNTIL WHAT INTERVENES IS WHAT WILL START A FASCINATION TO THEIR SPECIES FOR MILLENNIA TO COME

PAGE 4


1 
An alien approaches the cavemen from a spherical landed spaceship. This time they do not worship. One plays an anthem on upturned turtles.

Caption: AN UNARMED ALIEN THEY CAN SIMPLY ACCEPT AS AN EQUAL. THEY HAVE A SPECIAL ANTHEM THEY HAVE COMPOSED ESPECIALLY FOR THESE OCCASIONS


2 
They exchange gifts

Caption: THEY TRADE MERE BONES AND BEADS FOR THE ALIENS OFFERINGS OF A CIRCULAR WHEEL, A RETURNED RICHIE, A PICTORIAL HISTORY IN COMICS, A MALIGNED DEHYDRATED MILK PRODUCT AND A HEAVY WEIGHT STEWING PAN


3 
The alien dressed in the beads sniffles with a box of tissues

Caption: THE ALIEN PROMPTLY CATCHES A COLD FOR WHICH HE ONLY HAS BALM SOAKED DOUBLE STRENGTH TISSUES AS A DEFENCE.


4 
The alien lies dead on a slab looking like an autopsy table. The cavemen look on bemused

Caption: HIS DEATH DEEPLY AFFECTS HIS NEW FRIENDS WHO HONOUR HIM IN THE ANCIENT WAY OF NOT EATING HIM. BUT THEY DO HAVE A GOOD RUMMAGE ANYWAY


5 
The cavemen sit down for a meal with Richie singing, reading their comics, drinking milk

Caption: THE WAKE IS A DELIGHT OF MUSIC, PICTURES, MEAD AND EASY TO CLEAN POTS.

RICHIE: 'ONE DAY I REALISE OIL ON CANVAS, CAN NEVER PAINT A PETAL SO DELICATE.'


6 
Above the earth a fleet of cigar shaped alien craft stand off against other spherical craft of the dead alien's race

Caption: HOWEVER THE ALIEN'S DEATH IS MISINTERPRETED BY IT'S RACE AND THEIR ENEMIES

PAGE 5


1 
A space battle ensues looking like a scene from the game Missile Command

Caption: THE ALIEN SPECIES DECLARE WAR ON EACH OTHER WITH THE HUMBLE UNDEVELOPED PLANET AS THE CATALYTIC MIDDLE.


2 
The cigar craft above the cavemen settlement sucking them up like the game Defender

Caption: THE OPPOSING FACTION CAPTURE THE PRIMITIVES TO EXPERIMENT ON


3 
An young alien playing a space shooting game

Caption: UNTIL A DARING YOUNG PILOT SCRAMBLES THE REMAINING LONE FIGHTER TO MOUNT A RESCUE MISSION


4 
A large shot now back to black ink on white paper. An alien as in frame 3 is drawing on a blackboard, it's mother has just entered the room. The room is littered with elements from the story, dinosaurs, guns, space craft, video games.

MOTHER: HERBERT STOP MESSING AROUND WITH THOSE STORIES AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK. SCIENCE FICTION IS NOT RECOGNISED AS AN ISBN CATEGORY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR FATHER THINKS OF THE POSSIBILITY OF LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS.

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